Thursday, January 12, 2012

Boys Night Out

There have been several interesting studies over the years that relate to men and their need for friends.

In 2001, a report was published by ABC News regarding a study on the dynamics of exercise and relationships for men and women. It found that men tend to be better about regular exercise when they get support from their friends, versus from family. It also showed that men with active friends tend to be more active themselves.

In July 2010, TIME cited various studies on health and longevity that related to friendships. The findings all point to friendships playing a role, for both men and women, in overall good health and longevity of life.

Then, in August 2011, TIME Healthland cited a study that showed a man having a "bromance" may actually benefit his sex life with his wife. This study noted that the couple's sex life can suffer if a wife is too friendly with her husband's friends.

How does a "bromance" benefit men and a couple's sex life? According to the article, "men rely on their close male friendships to fuel their sense of autonomy, privacy and independence, which are in turn crucial contributors to their feelings of masculinity."  

If you are wondering how a woman's closeness to her husband's friends upsets that dynamic, the article went on to state, "When a woman steps in and usurps one of those close male bonds, she may threaten her partner’s manhood and his sense of male identity, thereby increasing the likelihood of sexual dysfunction."

The message from these studies to wives: be supportive and encouraging of him having a regular boys night out with his friends. Men need male bonding time to help decompress, to encourage them to be/stay active and healthy and to better be able to give you the good loving you both want for you to have. And, get your own friends. ;-)

Tips: Show your support for your DH in his regular nights with friends by making plans for yourself on those nights, offering to make or buy some of the food for their night and not interrogating him or being sulky when he returns home.

Image: Chance Agrella/

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Wash His Hair

Every man I know loves getting his hair cut when he can have his hair washed, too. They just love having someone wash their hair. When asked why, the answers tend to be very general, but seem to revolve around relaxation, intimacy and service. This can be translated into a sexy, fun way to surprise and delight your DH at home.

There are many products on the market designed to help with the act of washing someone else's hair. However, you don't need any of these in order to sit your man down by the sink and give him a fun, sexy hair washing.

Wrap a towel around his shoulders and secure it with a safety pin, clothes pin, hair clamp, food package clip or anything else you have handy that will hold the two ends together.

If you don't have a sprayer or sprayer attachment at your sink, you can use a pitcher or glasses of warm water (have him tell you the right temperature).

Stand over him at the sink, so your legs are straddling his as he sits and you are slightly leaning over him. If that won't work, you can stand to the side of him.

Have a dry towel handy for when the hair washing is completed.

Tip: Be sure to have a lot of physical contact with him and take your time. This is all about having some sexy fun with your sweetheart.

Image: Sarahyuro/Wikimedia Commons

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Discovering His Passion

What is it that your darling husband is truly passionate about? It could be a hobby, a cause or something else. Surprise him by spending some time with him learning more about his passion.

When did he first discover this passion? What is it about it that pulls him in? Really try to hear what he is saying about the attraction and what his passion gives him or allows him to do/be.

Is his passion something he likes to do on his own, with his mates or wants you to do with him? Take an interest and find out more about this part of your sweetheart's life.

If he wants you to participate in some way, it may not be your passion, but being around him while he is 'in his element' can be a very enlightening and joyful experience for both of you.

Seeing your man light up and really come to life while doing what he loves is a beautiful sight to behold.

A little musical inspiration:

Image: Chance Agrella/

Monday, January 9, 2012

Give Him a Jubilant Greeting: Wrap-Around Style

One fun, sexy way to surprise and delight your DH is by greeting him with a leap into his arms. Once there, wrap your legs firmly around his waist and your arms around his neck. Kiss him passionately. Be sure to tell him how much you love and appreciate him. 

NOTE: Before using this greeting, be sure his back can handle it and you can physically do it without knocking him over.

A little musical inspiration:

Image: public domain/wikimedia commons

Friday, January 6, 2012

Grand Gestures

Grand gestures do not need to be made in order to say "I love you." However, those who want to occasionally make a grand gesture may feel a bit stumped as to what exactly to do.

The following examples of grand gestures may be a bit costly or take a lot of time and effort.  However, they are also inspirational examples of how to surprise and delight him by creating an experience for him that will truly rock his world.

Former 49ers Quarterback Steve Young was treated to a world-rocking surprise by his wife, Barb when she organized a flash mob to celebrate his 50th birthday.

Similarly, Shannon Tweed, longtime girlfriend of KISS rocker Gene Simmons, arranged for him to meet his (half) siblings while they were in Israel.

These women know "their men" and knew exactly what would mean a lot to them. What things would change "your man's" world or mean everything to him? What are things he loves or thinks are funny, creative or spectacular? Find a way to incorporate one of these into your grand gesture.

Tip: With careful planning, not all grand gestures need to be costly or time-consuming to arrange. You don't need to break the bank to make a grand gesture. Shop around, call in favors, get creative and have fun.

Image: Dwight Tracy/

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Accepting His Compliments

For some reason, it can be very difficult for many of us to simply and graciously accept compliments. We are quick to minimize them, brush them aside, refute them or in some other way, discredit them. 

We need to stop doing this. When we put down the compliment, we are insulting the person who gave it. We need to learn how to accept their gift of kindness with grace and style.

The next time your darling husband gives you a compliment, say nothing but walk toward him with your sexy walk, maintaining direct eye contact. With your face close to the side of his, use your low, sexy soft voice to tell him simply something related to his compliment. 

One example would be if he told you that you look beautiful to tell him in your soft, sexy voice, “Thank you. You make me feel beautiful.” Then give him a soft kiss on the cheek . . . or on the corner of his lips.

Tip: Remember that every compliment is a gift from the heart. Accept it graciously and you make the giver feel appreciated. Accepting the compliment is not about you sharing the same belief - it is about honoring the giver.

Image: Leonel Medina/

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Face and Head Massage: Straddling His Lap

Here is a fun, sexy way to give your man a face and head/scalp massage. 

Straddle his lap, facing him. Have him close his eyes and relax. Place his hands at his side or on your back, whichever way is most comfortable and relaxing for him. Start the massage with his face and them move to his scalp/head. After, you can then move to massaging his neck and shoulders.

There are some great massage technique tutorials available free online. Some are written and some are in video form. A few I found are listed below:

Face Massage (written)
Face Massage (video)

Scalp Massage (written)
Scalp Massage (video)

Did You Know? Face massage is said to help battle signs of aging and help relieve sinus congestion. Scalp massage is said to help stimulate hair growth. Both can be used to help relieve tension and headaches.

Image Credit: Bangin/Wikimedia Commons. GNU Free Documentation License 1.2 or later.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Getting to Know You Jar: Building Intimacy Through Sharing

There are a variety of books, personal history prompt resources and games (such as "Would You Rather . . .?") that use questions in order to trigger memories or start conversations that will allow others to learn more about you.

For the purpose of this way to surprise and delight your darling husband, fill a jar or other container with slips of paper, each of which contains such a question.

Every now and then, sit down with your DH and pull a slip of paper from the jar. Have him answer the question on the paper. Then you can answer, as well.

This allows you both to learn more about each other, which helps you to build intimacy and improve communication skills.

A few examples of questions you might include in your Getting to Know You jar:

What is the earliest memory that you have?
Who was your favorite school teacher and why?
What frightened you most as a child, why and how did you overcome it?
What is your fondest memory of your (fill in special person in his life, such as mother, father, brother, sister, etc)?
What is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you and what made it so special for you? (*do not take offense if you are not the doer in the answer given. Use the answer as a source of inspiration for more ways to do special things for your DH)

TIP: Remember that the point of this is to get to know your DH, not to take offense, get upset or argue. Keep things loving, supportive and emotionally 'safe'.

Image Credit: Daderot/Wikimedia Commons. Public Domain.

Monday, January 2, 2012

After Work TLC for Your Hard-Working Man

If your DH is the type who really just wants a little tender loving care (TLC) after getting home from work, make it a commitment and habit to give that to him every time. 

Perhaps he would really appreciate a shoulder rub, a hug or a thorough kissing. He may want you to ask about his day and really hear him. Find out what works well for him and be sure to have fun with this TLC time with him.

Also make sure to treat this time as sacred and guard it ferociously for him. This time should be all about him getting the TLC from you that he craves, with no outside distractions or interruptions.

Want a little musical inspiration?

If the video doesn't work, you can watch it here.

Image credit: Roxanna Gonzalez/